What to Do When You Don’t Want to Do Anything

🌀 When You Want to Crawl into a Hole (But Don’t Want to Numb Anymore)

Some days, everything feels just a little… off.
Not tragic. Not catastrophic.
Just heavy. Apathetic.
Like someone turned the color dial down on your world.

I started noticing this most after I’d done enough inner work to know I didn’t want to numb anymore—but hadn’t yet figured out what to reach for instead.

One of my clients recently captured it perfectly:

“I want something to ground around, something to tether myself to. But I don’t know what that is. I used to numb out, but now that doesn’t feel aligned. I want something that’s nourishing and soul-aligning… but I just sit there and don’t know what to do.”

I noticed this especially after I’d done enough personal growth and deep emotional healing to know I didn’t want to numb anymore—but hadn’t yet fully landed in what came next. For me, this looked like reaching for Grindr when I didn’t even want to have sex, or online shopping for things I definitely didn’t need, or replaying video games that weren’t even fun. I just wanted something to take my attention away from the fact that I wasn’t happy.

That’s the rub.
When numbing no longer feels aligned (did it ever?!)—but you don’t yet have another way to navigate the low moments—it can feel like being in limbo; emotional purgatory, and with no new options in your awareness, eventually the old pattern wins out, this time coupled with annoyed self-awareness that, "I am yet again grabbing my phone to doom scroll."

And it’s not just emotional. These low-energy states often come with nervous system dysregulation. Whether it’s your cycle, lack of sleep, stress, or just life, your system gets flooded. You drop out of your body. You disconnect from your own signal.

They also joked: “Honestly, I just miss the 90s. I miss when I wasn’t always available. When things were slower, and the world didn’t demand so much of me all the time.”

Same, friend. Same.
Back when the internet ended when you left the house.
Back when we could actually hear our own thoughts.
Back when our nervous systems had a fighting chance.

The modern world isn’t designed for regulation.
It’s built to keep us overstimulated, overextended, and out of sync.
So no—you’re not doing anything wrong when you feel overwhelmed or disconnected. You’re being human in an inhuman system.

But you can meet those moments differently.

You can learn to reconnect from within instead of reaching for something outside of yourself.

And when you do… everything shifts.

💡 What’s really happening

Here’s what I told them (and what I want you to know):

The world isn’t designed for balance. So when you find yourself out of sync, that’s not failure—it’s feedback. And it’s an invitation.

The invitation is to practice self-regulation.

When your energy drops, your nervous system often slips into a subtle freeze or flight state. It defaults to distraction instead of presence. And if you’ve historically used outside sources—like food, Netflix, weed, or hookup apps—to cope (ineffectively), sitting in stillness can feel foreign or even threatening.

But stillness is not emptiness.

It’s where your inner compass gets the signal.

The low moment isn’t the problem.
It’s the invitation.

The skill you’re craving in that moment isn’t motivation, discipline, or inspiration.
It’s self-regulation.

Stillness isn’t just awkward—it can feel unsafe when your nervous system has been wired for distraction. But that discomfort? That’s the doorway. It’s where your truth starts to become audible.

That moment where you’re “just sitting there”? It matters.
It’s the space where new patterns are born—not from outside input, but from inner signal finally being heard.

⚡ What to do instead

When that low, frozen, apathetic feeling hits and you know you're meant for more than numbing out—try this:

1. Regulate your body first.

Before you try to think your way through it, breathe your way back into it.

• Inhale slowly, into your belly

• Sigh it out

• Shake, stretch, dance, move

• Touch your heart or belly 
  This helps your nervous system shift out of fight/flight/freeze and back into flow.

2. Create space without distraction.

Yes—sit on the couch and stare at the wall. I’m serious.
That awkward, quiet moment? That’s where your intuition gets the mic.
You’re giving yourself just enough stillness for your true desire to bubble up.
Don’t expect it to yell. Expect it to whisper.

3. Ask better questions.

Once you feel your body begin to soften, try asking:

“What outcome do I want right now?” 
“What would feel nourishing or empowering—not later, but right now?”

You’re not looking for a productivity fix. You’re looking for a resonance.
Maybe it’s a bath. Maybe it’s journaling. Maybe it’s a nap.
Whatever arises, trust that. Follow it. That’s the rewiring.

🌱 What You Gain from This Practice

This is how you re-pattern.
This is how you meet low energy with self-honoring instead of self-abandonment.

You stop reaching for something to numb you.
You start turning toward something that grounds you.

You won’t always want to. It won’t always be easy.
But the more you practice, the more natural it becomes.
You build trust with yourself—through repetition, not perfection.

And that’s when the shift happens:

• You don’t fear the low moments anymore.

• You don’t spiral when you feel off.

• You know how to meet yourself in the void—and walk yourself out of it.

And from there… you don’t just survive.
You alchemize.

So next time you want to crawl into a hole—pause.
Not to disappear… but to reappear in your own presence.

BTW
I’m creating a new course that goes deep into this exact process—from numbing to nervous system restoration to reclaiming your presence. If this speaks to you, email me and I’ll make sure you get early access.